Normal....

Is a word that I really should be used to hearing by now when it comes to Kira, right?

Well, I heard it again and again, it brought tears to my eyes and has just thrown me "off" a bit today. (It's probably good I had a crazy busy day of appointments that meant driving back and forth across town...I was too busy to "think" too much.)

Kira's EMG test from Friday was normal.  

There is no chance at all that she has any type of congenital myasthenia.

The nurse was so happy to be calling with such "great news."  And yes, in many ways, it is wonderful news.  I know that in my head.  My heart....well, my heart feels something very different.  Not tears because she DOESN'T have a myasthenia of any kind but tears because we just don't know.

EIGHT YEARS.  For eight years we have been looking for answers....looking for what is so very clearly a needle in the haystack to explain Kira's low muscle tone and muscle fatigue.  EIGHT YEARS.

As of right now, there is nothing left to test for....which I can assure you, would make Kira really happy to know.  But for me....it's frustrating. Very, very frustrating and honestly, scary at times.

The nurse did make me laugh a little after I hung up...she said to continue to watch for new signs of symptoms.  Um, okay?  Exactly WHAT should we be watching for???