Bad blogger....

Did you know that I have written many, manay blog posts over the last couple of weeks?......in my head! ;-) Does that count for anything? Not really, I know! Busy, busy, busy around here...so until I can fill in on all the wonderful happenings in our lives....here's my babies!! One of whom turns THREE tomorrow!

Stuff...

Kira had a great time at the baseball game! I have pictures but once again, my darling-almost-3-year-old has gotten ahold of my cord and I can't find it. It will show up, it always does! :-) Let's just say that she's still talking about it.

Jason and I leave tomorrow morning for Wrigleyville......here we come Chicago. I'm so looking forward to some time with my hubby. With 3 kids, I feel like we just don't have a chance to talk and focus on our marriage like we should...it's a balancing act and sometimes I don't feel like it's very balanced.

As excited as I am, I'm leaving with lots of nerves too. I know the kids will be fine..my parents are here but we're in a wait and see stage with Eva right now. UTI and ear infection, maybe. Allergic to the only oral antibotics that will take care of the UTI but we can't retest right now because she still has antibotics in her system. So we wait...we have to wait and see if she spikes a temp again which would probably be in 48-72 hours. If she spikes a temp, we have to go to the ER and possibly be admited for IV antibotics. I am praying that the 1st urine was contaminated and everything will be fine....but I'm nervous about leaving her. Sigh...why does this happen right when we're ready to go? Kids just know! :-)

Please, please, please let her have fun!!!

Jason and I were supposed to go to a Madison Mallards baseball game tonight but I spent the afternoon with Eva at Urgent Care....she has her 1st (and hopefully last) ear infection and possibly a bladder infection too. :-( So, needless to say, I wasn't feeling comfortable leaving my baby with a sitter tonight especially since she was running 105 temp when we got the Urgent Care. Jason asked Kira if she wanted to go and never expected her to get EXCITED about it and seriously want to go. She asked if she could wear her earplugs and of course, that was fine. So they are off to a baseball game! I sooooooooo badly want this to be a GREAT experience for both of them...sooooo badly. Jason has always wanted to be able to take her to games but she hadn't been able to handle it when we had tried in the past.

I sent the camera............be back later to let ya know what happens!

I'm thankful.....

I'm thankful.

Today we had Eva's evaluations with Birth-3. And, just like Kira and Dylan, she qualified for services. I have to admit, I had myself pretty convinced that she WASN'T going to qualify....or maybe I was just keeping my head in the sand, who knows?? And, yes, I'm a little sad that she will need PT for awhile.

That being said, I am sooooooooo thankful that we live in a time and place where kids can get the therapy and other services that they need. It's not always easy but I look at how far Kira has come and I KNOW that she wouldn't be where she is today without the therapy, braces and other services she has received. (some we've had to fight for but that's whole different post!) I'm thankful that as a parent, I have these people to help me help my kids. I'm thankful for all the therapists, doctors and nurses who have made a difference in my children's life. I'm thankful that we have doctors who didn't give up on finding a diagnoises for Kira. I'm thankful for the therapists who never gave up and who still haven't given up on getting Kira as far as she can go with her gross motor skills. I'm thankful for the team who came to evaluate Eva today who understood why I was a little emotional at hearing that Eva is a little behind and could benefit from therapy.

And with a little therapy, I have no doubt that Eva will get kicked out of therapy, just like her big brother did!!

I'm thankful.

Time flies...and now I have to trust...

In just one short month, school will start. Up until this fall, I never gave much thought to when school started and all of that but this year is sooooooooo different for me. I can't believe that Kira will be starting school this year...not preschool but elementary school....all day. And Dylan, my Dilly Boy, will be going to preschool 2 mornings a week. I would be lying if I said that each time I walk by the school supply aisles in the stores I don't get a little sad. I love being a home with my kids. Sure there are days that I feel like I am losing my mind but I wouldn't trade my job for anything in the world. It's hard for me to think about not being there with Kira....not spending lazy mornings reading books, playing with play-doh and just being silly. It's hard for me to think about not playing an active role in her therapy sessions as I have for nearly her whole life. It's hard for me to know that she's going to be beyond exhausted when she gets home and it's going to hard to have quality time with her. It's hard for me to know that I won't be there to pick her up when she falls down, to give her a hug when she gets hurt and to give her a high-5 when she works so hard in therapy. I'm her Mommy and it's hard to let go.

I have to trust that the people who will surround her will be there to give a hug and high-5 for me. I have to trust that she WILL be okay. It's hard to let go when you've spent nearly everyday for 5 years with this adorable little person. I know that she'll love school. I know that she'll make friends. But the reality is, I also know that there are times it's going to be VERY hard for her. She has a lot of stuff going on that the other kids won't....physical challenges and anxiety being at the top of that list. Don't get me wrong. She's doing sooooo much better since we made the decision to start her on some anxiety meds but meds aren't perfect and they certainly don't make it "all better."

I worry that kids will be mean. She wears braces...that are now purple with butterflies. She'll use a wheelchair for parts of the day and she's not the "bravest" child in the world. I know that her meltdowns will happen at school and I don't want her to be called the cry-baby. I know kids are accepting at this age but I'm not blind to the fact they can also be mean.

When the weather is nice and we have our windows open, we can hear the kids playing on the playground at the school...I can't decide if that's going to be a good thing or not so good thing for me?? Hmmm...I guess time will tell.

In less than a month, I will have to put a smile on my face as we walk through the front door of the school with Kira proudly wearing her Tinkerbell backpack and carrying her Tinkerbell lunchbox. I will have to put my trust in her teachers, aide and therapists. I think it's pretty darn safe to say that even though I will be smiling on the outside, I will be fighting tears along wtih that smile. I'm excited for her to experience school and I know that she is excited too...but Mommy's heart just isn't quite ready yet and letting go is not going to be easy.