Relief along with feeling a little sad....

But I finally feel like someone "gets it!" I feel like someone listened to Jason and I. I feel like someone could see past what the anxiety and fear does and saw what we see...a loving 5 1/2 year old who doesn't want to be "naughty".....who doesn't want to be fearful about life....who needed someone to help. I feel hope.

I left our appointment with the behavioral ped today with tears in my eyes. Not only did Kira do amazingly well but this dr didn't make us feel like we were "doing it wrong." She didn't make us feel like WE did this but choices we made in the past. We have a plan. Kira has been on prozac for about a month now. We were seeing improvement with her anxiety but we were also seeing a lot of other behaviors that we knew were caused by the med and not things that would work to "trade" for less anxiety. There is a word for what we were seeing.....Disinhibition! Although this is not a common problem with the SSRI medications, it is very troubling to parents when it occurs. (Ummm, yeah!) Children who become "dis-inhibited" when on the SRRI meds have an "I don't care" attitude. Rules and expectations that were followed previously are now ignored. This behavior is striking when it occurs. (ummm, yeah and it freaks parents out too!)

Since we were seeing improvement in a lot of areas, we decided to not increase the dose anymore at this time but to stay on it and add another med. While I'm not crazy about adding more meds to her system, I also know that it's what she needs to function. So we are adding another med called Risperidone. Like the other, we have to start out slowly and gradually increase as needed and hope that this med will help control the "not so pleasant" behaviors we have been seeing.

We are hoping that this combination will work and we can get everything to a good dose before school starts so that hopefully, that transition will go a little more smoothly for Kira.

At the end of the day, Kira is Kira. We'll keep working to find what works for her. As her Mommy, I just want things to be easy. Isn't that what every parent wants? I would be lying if I said that I haven't been asking the "why me" and "why us?" question alot lately but I always come back to the same answer...."Why NOT me? Why NOT us?" So as we walk down yet another unknown road, I just hope and pray that we can muddle through and come out in a good place at the end. We will....I know we will.